Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Redeemed



My Testimony of how Christ saved me!

"And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony" Revelation 12:11


I am not ashamed of my past because Christ has set me free. My closet is open, there are no skeletons to hide. I am no longer a slave to the opinions of man, I am a slave to the Lord Jesus Christ. I believe that when people hear my testimony, they will know that Christ can set them from anything!



I was raised in the church and vividly remember talking about Jesus as a young girl. Growing up, I had a great childhood. Some bad things happened, but for the most part I had loving parents who spoiled me rotten! Middle school and high school years were great. I was a cheerleader, Class President, popular, had lots of friends, and was always having fun. Since middle school, I always had a little boyfriend and at that time I didn't realize I was using guys to fill the voids in my life. I remained a virgin throughout high school, went to church, and read my bible sometimes but my heart was still far from God. 


                  College Years (2007-2011)


"That man don't love you like he need to if he ain't following Christ, he can't lead you"



 I went off to college and did all the things my sinful heart desired. I attended Albany State University and everyone knows that's like the biggest party school ever. We literally partied Monday-Saturday. As a freshman, God was drawing me but I ignored Him for the most part. I went to bible study on campus but I lived like God didn't exist. I partied, got drunk, cursed, had sex, and did all the very things that God detests. I still thought I was saved because I repeated the "sinner's prayer" when I was younger, but my whole life contradicted what God's word said a true Christian was. I went to church when I was home, but my heart was so hardened I wasn't moved or phased by anything that was going on in church. I was living my own little double life. Pretending to be "mommy and daddy sweet angel" but behind their back doing the very things that I know they wouldn't condone. Now when you compared me to most girls my age, I was considered a "good girl" but compared to the word of God I was filthy and the little girl who grew up in church was on the way to hell! Sometimes we are so quick to compare ourselves to our friends and other people who call themselves "Christians" and think we are okay because they are doing the same things we are doing. But when we compare ourselves to the word of God we really see where we line up at! Our "little" sins is a BIG deal to God!


"I know you're the apple of momma's eyes, a star in your daddy's sky but God knows you living a lie..you giving a guy everything your husband deserves it's absurd don't follow your feelings just follow the word"

               My freshman year I got involved with 
an upperclassmen. He was the biggest liar ever, and pretended to be a good guy in front of me. All of these girls hated me over him and I didn't understand why. I got my car keyed, in the first fight of my life, and was on some "exposed" site because of him. I knew that I shouldn't have been with him but I didn't want to be alone. I was so empty and I thought I was in love when it was definitely not. After two years of lies and heartbreaks I finally ended it with him and moved on. Of course I didn't heal because I was so quick to jump into something else like most women do. My junior year I got involved with another guy. He was the epitome of a liar,deceiver,and manipulator.I don't know what drew me to him but I was empty and lonely and was trying to let these guys fill the void that only Christ could fill. He was everything  that the previous guy wasn't. We talked all day about everything, was together all the time, and he was  down to earth. But his bad definitely outweighed his good. Too many times women think that having a boyfriend  or even getting married will fill that emptiness and space in our heart but  that's a lie. We look to men as our idol, and look to them to fill all of our needs, desires, and make us happy. You will still feel that void because only Christ can fill it. Of course the whole time I knew he wasn't God's best for me but I was okay with living a lie pretending like I was happy like most women do.


              The Awakening (2011-2012)


No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. (John 6:44)


I decided to move back home and take classes online until I graduated, and that was the best decision I made that year. I had to get away from that college lifestyle people were living. It's like once you get around a lot of immorality you get desensitized to it, and the things you thought were abnormal have now become normal. God started drawing me like crazy and stripping things away from me. I decided to end the little "situationship" that I was in and  made the vow in December 2011 that I would not have sex again until I was married.  I was tired of being hurt and misused by guys who didn't value me. I always knew that sex outside of marriage was a sin against God, but I ignored what God said because I loved my sin and pleasure more than I loved Him. The last time I went to the club I was actually sober (for the first time EVER lol). When you're intoxicated everything is exciting and fun, when you're sober you see everything clearly for what it was. On this day I saw clubbing exactly for what is was. I looked around with disgust realizing I didn't want to live my life like this is. I made up my mind in in April 2012 that I was done with clubbing and drinking.


                     Born Again (2012)


Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)



May 27, 2012 was the best day of my life, Christ saved me! For the first time in my life I met God's conviction for my sin..yet His love, grace, and mercy. I realized that I was a filthy sinner deserving of hell, and how undeserving I was of God's love and grace. Romans 5:8 came alive to me, "God demonstrates His love in this.  While I was yet a sinner Christ died for me!" On this day, I repented and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ. The weight of sin was lifted off of me and I saw the beauty in what Christ did on the cross for me. I weeped with joy! I was so self-deceived in the past, thinking I was saved because I was raised in the church, baptized and said the "sinner's prayer." In actuality, I had only recited a prayer and had gotten wet. There had been no conviction of sin, no repentance, no saving faith, and no regeneration. I was a FALSE CONVERT and my life proved it. I was not stun' God, I didn't care what His word said about how I lived, I didn't fear Him, honor Him and I didn't live according to His standards. I realized it wasn't enough to go to church, go through the motions, and profess Christ with my mouth while I denied Him with my life.

"My face look the same, my frame done rearranged but I changed, I promise I ain't the same. Your love is so deep, you suffered and took pain and died on the cross to give me a new name"

 Immediately after Christ saved me, I had such a desperation and hunger to read His word and know Him. It's like the scales fell from my eyes and I begin to see clearly. I saw the state that the world is in, and how most people are lost and on the way to hell and don't even know it. I begun to hate the things of this world and love God and the things of God. I realized how vain the partying, drinking, pre-marital sex, and the overall pursuit of a life without God was. I wanted to please God with everything and I was willing to cut off anything and anyone to grow closer to Him. I didn't have any saved friends at the time, it was just me and God. The Lord begun to convict me about the godless music that I listened to and the shows I watched.  I begun to only feed my spirit with sermons, blogs, and Christian music. I also started watching the P4cm poets, and listening to preachers like David Wilkerson and Paul washer who preaches the true unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ. They really helped me to grow and understand so  much about the gospel!

Passion For Christ


"Drag my name through the mud,they can hate they can gossip, but my passion for Jesus,they ain't never gone stop it!



Christ has  completely transformed my life and is healing me from all the pain that I experienced in my past. I just can't keep my mouth shut about my Jesus!! People don't understand why I'm so passionate about Christ because they don't know what He's done for me. I don't want Him just for blessings and material things that will fade away. I NEED Christ like my next breath. He is my comforter, provider, and best friend. I now know what true love is. It wasn't found in guys or sex, it was found in Him. I cut off ALL guys when I got saved, because I no longer wanted to date around to fill a void. By the grace of God, I've been celibate for 4 years and vow to wait until marriage. Even though it's been hard trusting God in my singleness I'm waiting for God to send my husband, a man who is after His heart who will lead me and truly love me. God has also sent me new Godly friends who are also on fire and strive to live on this narrow path. 


I'm not ashamed to say that I struggle and need God;s grace because in my weakness I experience the power of the cross and God is glorified! I haven't forgotten about where God has brought me from. I'm not better than anyone. I'm simply a product of the redemptive power of the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm a wretched sinner saved by a gracious and merciful God. I have never experience peace,joy, and love like this. Sometimes I sit and weep when I think about how Christ has changed my life. I'm not going to pretend like living in the world wasn't fun. I had a blast at times, but when the fun wore off it was right back to the same ol' emptiness. Even after the fun nights, after the after party, after the sex, after the spring break vacations life still sucks without Jesus. Plus, none of this stuff was worth my soul. True fulfillment, joy, love and peace only comes from a life fully surrendered to Jesus Christ!

  
 Christ can save you from whatever you are bound to: fornication, homosexuality, adultery, low self esteem, drug addiction, masturbation, alcoholism, and depression. Jesus came to seek and save that which are lost. My hope and prayers is that after reading my testimony, that everyone will truly examine themselves to scripture! This life is temporal and within 100 years we all will be dead, do you know where you will spend eternity?


             I am Brittany Jay and my testimony continues...
                            





                                       Listen to my Testimony!!

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