Friday, January 17, 2014

All my single ladies, all my single ladies

Trusting in God during your singleness!

So many of us women act as if being single is the biggest curse to mankind. We act is if we can't be single or alone and that our life won't begin until we get a man. Many of us are empty and trying to let a man fill the void that only Christ can fill. Your singleness is a crucial time, don't look at is as a curse but as a time to learn and grow! More than being content in singleness and celibate the most important thing is have we been born again. Whether married or single,living for Christ is the ultimate goal. Marriage should not be the ultimate goal of the Christian life. The desire to want to be married is natural but we can't let our desire for a mate supersede our desire for God. We should be more concerned about our salvation than our relationship status. No matter if we're married, divorced, single or widowed, God's call for us is the same. To live holy, love God, love others and to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ to everyone!


How you practice in your singleness will be how you perform in your married life. Many women are ready for a wedding but not prepared for a Godly marriage. This is a great starting list to help single women prepare!


1. Develop an intimate relationship with God. We can't enter into a covenant with a husband if we don’t first have one with God. Have we TRULY been born again? Are we living Holy? Denying ourselves? Bearing fruit? Spreading the gospel? It's impossible to be a Godly wife without knowing God. First, we must understand the purpose of marriage. Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. Marriage is to make us holy and conform us to the image of Christ. Marriage is not just about having sex, cuddling, posting pictures online,and having some cute babies. Marriage is ministry for God's glory. Seek biblical wisdom, study the word, develop a life of prayer and be dedicated to living for God.

2. Stop dating around and sleeping around. Are you truly 100% single or technically single? Many of us are trying to pass by time until our husband comes, so we are still dating around and having sex. How can we expect God to send our husband when we aren't even single? God doesn't have our entire heart and body, we are still giving it out to undeserving guys. I know this is very hard, but why waste time with guys who you don't have a future with. Learn to be100% committed prior to a serious courtship.Cut off all guys who you don't have a future with ,stop dating with no purpose, and walk in purity!


3. Be domestic Ladies we can love God with all of our heart and be fine as ever but we have to bring something else to the table.  Regardless if we choose to stay at home or work our husband should come home to a clean house and a home cooked meal. The Proverbs 31 wife helps her husband around the house(Proverbs 31:13-16).In order to be a great partner in marriage, we must bring the ability to emotionally and physically take care of the house.

4.Don't be desperate. I know that the struggle is REAL but no man of God wants a desperate woman. I know that there are way more women in church than men, but it's no need to be desperate. If you are thirsty,get a sip of that living water LOL(John 4:14 Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst again. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them spring of water welling up to eternal life.) He who FINDS a wife finds a good thing. The man that God has for you will pursue you not the opposite. Don't go online subtweeting and trying to get at every Christian guy and PLEASE don't go online posting status and tweets how you're so lonely and want a man. The thirst is real, but God's grace is more real!  The man that God has for you is for YOU and you won't have to go out of your way and be thirsty to get him!:-)

5.Be whole.  Instead of complaining and being bitter about being single, enjoy it! Many of us have always had a man since we were teenagers. We don't know what it feels like to be alone. We have so much baggage, hurt, and pain in us from all of the heartbreaks and we have to allow God to make us whole. Allow God to heal your past hurt and break the soul ties. Let God complete you and make you to the woman He created you to be. Don't go online and covet after other people's relationship and want what they have. Let God write you own love story and trust in Him. If we are not whole as singles, when we get married our husband will become our idol. We will look to Him to satisfy all of our needs and give us what only Christ can.


6. Be set apart and feminine in your conduct. Always carry yourself as a classy woman of God with standards in Christ. Be set apart and holy in everything that you do. Looks are not everything but men are visual creatures. Keep yourself up, workout, and eat healthy. Practice discretion and prudence now as a single. Everyone doesn't need to know all of your business and your every move. Get a journal to write down all of your feeling instead of going on social networks and spilling them.Avoid drama and practice gentleness with others that cross your path. Learn to walk in peace and love. Avoid drama and work on your inner beauty and having a quiet and gentle spirit.(1 Peter 3:4)

7. Be responsible. If you desire to marry a man that provides and makes the best decisions for his family, you need to do the same. Smart men don’t want to marry a woman that spends way more than she saves. I know this is hard for most women because we LOVE to shop but when we get married we will be ONE flesh. We will have to communicate with our husband and and be wise in our spending.  Make sure that your credit is in order and that you've paid any overdue balances. Prepare for tomorrow and learn how to spend money wisely. The ability to manage money is important in marriage.


8. Be selfless. True love is selfless, we have to learn about compromise. While you are single, learn that you don’t always have to be right and accept that most things will not always happen your way. Be willing to sacrifice what you want for the benefit and happiness of others. Wives have to compromise many things. The earlier we learn to compromise, the better off we will be in marriage.


9. Know what submission is and be ready to walk in it. Many women hate the word submission, but it's impossible to have a Godly marriage if you don't plan on submitting to your husband. Submission is not equivalent to obedience,submission is yielding in love. We have to renew our mind in God's word to understand our role as a wife. Study God’s design for marriage and understand the role of a wife. As a single, practice submit to God and your parents(unless it goes against God.)



10. Say bye bye to the Ms.Independent mind frame. We live in a culture where femininity is promoted. As a single, it's okay to be independent but as a wife we will be one with our husband and he will be the head. The Ms.Independent mindset says, "I'm the boss, I make my own money my husband can't tell me nothing. I'm strong and Independent and I don't need a man for nothing." Sadly, many of the "Ms.Independent" women stay single and independent. That's not a godly women. A godly woman uses her skills for the embellishment of the home and the enhancement of her husband. It's not a competition,  they are one.  It's so important that we renew our mind in God's word and don't look to the world as an example.

11. Get busy for the kingdom of God. Umm hellllllo! We are single, we have a full life devoted to the Kingdom of God. We have so much time, compared to when we're married our husband will be our first ministry. As Paul says, singles have all our time to devote ourselves to God. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)There are people all around you who are lost and don't know Christ. Share the gospel, volunteer, start a blog, mentor young women. It's no reason to complain about being bored when it's so much that needs to be done. Instead of focusing on what we don't have, focus on helping other and serving the Lord!

Ladies, I'm not going to pretend like being single isn't hard. On my two year journey of being 100% single I have had some VERY rough times, but God's grace is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness)I've noticed when I'm most discontent is when I'm not in the word or in prayer like I should. Let God mold you and create you into the woman of God that he's called you to be. Trust me, I'm practicing and growing in all of the things that I stated in this blog. We can't fool God and pretend that we want Him or that we're content so that He can send our man. He knows our motives and intentions.  Christ is truly enough, our husband is suppose to add on to the happiness that Christ gives. Focus on serving God and others, and if it's in His will He will send our husband at His timing!:-)



Listen to my blog show on singleness