Christianity,Empire & Scandal

                     Christianity, Empire & Scandal

This week, a co-worker asked me did I see the new episode of Empire. Before I could answer, someone said, "She's not into stuff like that!" I want to make it clear that I'm not better than anyone because I don't watch these shows. When God first saved me, I battled giving up my favorite reality shows: Single Ladies, Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Bad Girls Club. I tried to make excuses and convince myself that it was just a show and no big deal. The Holy Spirit would convict me every time, and I would feel no peace afterwards. The Holy Spirit was grieved with me feeding my flesh and filling my mind with the filth of this world.  Finally I said enough Lord, I give it to you.  (Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.)

In the last year, I've heard much talk of popular shows like Empire and Scandal. For those who are not familiar with Empire or Scandal, these shows are very popular. People even get together to have Empire and Scandal watching parties. These shows glorify and promote fornication, homosexuality, abortion, adultery, greed, lust of the flesh, the pride of life..and everything that Jesus warns us to stay away from. The fastest way to promote sin and make it acceptable is through entertainment. I'm sure shows like Empire and Scandal may have a good story line, but I find it hypocritical as a believer to preach against sin but then watch shows that glorify it. These shows are designed to desensitize us to sin and make it normal. In the 70s-80s we had shows like The Cosby Show, Family Matters, Brady Bunch that promoted family, marriage, morals and values..now we have shows that promote sin and our culture reflects it!

 PAUSE.. Some of you may be thinking, "Umm Brittany I like your other posts but I'm not giving up my shows. You're being legalistic and holier than thou!" It's not about being a legalist, but we can't use our freedom in Christ as an excuse to gratify our flesh. We have to wonder why our hearts are far from God, why we have no desire to pray & share the gospel, and no passion for Christ because we are being entertained by the very things He hates and died for.  No matter how long we've been saved, we can't "handle" certain things. We should pursue holiness and godliness at all costs. 

This isn't just about Empire & Scandal. It's about what we watch, listen to, and entertain in general. These shows promote the very sins that put our loving savior on the cross.  Many times we don't understand and think God doesn't wants us to have fun or watch anything. No, God loves us and wants us to stay away from evil and anything that will take our heart away from Him. He knows how detrimental these things are to our spiritual life. Believers, we have to guard our heart and be wise. We should seek to honor God in what we listen to and watch. In my own walk, I notice when I listen to or watch certain things..afterwards I have no desire to read my word or pray. This stuff feeds our flesh, unknowingly. We shouldn't ask is this a sin, or that a sin. We should ask is this pushing us closer to God and would God be pleased with it. ( 1 Corinthians 10:23 All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify.)


This post wasn't to condemn any believers for watching these shows, but to bring awareness and expose the cunning tactics of the enemy. (Ephesians 5:11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.) As we grow in God, we begin to love what He loves and hate what He hates..including our own sin. Some may think I'm being "too deep" but for those who have been convicted by watching these shows this is for you!:-)

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

         Psalms 101:3 I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;
I hate the work of those who fall away;it shall not cling to me.

Worldly Women Vs Godly Women

Worldly Women Vs Godly Women

I made a blog some months ago about Godly vs Worldly men! (http://brittmjay.blogspot.com/2014/02/godly-vs-worldly-men.html) All of the ladies were like, "Yes,you better tell it Brittany. A man needs to be this and that!"  Well, ladies this blog is for us! This blog is not to bash women in the world and esteem Godly women. It's ONLY because of Christ that a Godly woman is able to be this way nothing of her own. Godly women have not arrived and are not perfect but there should be a CLEAR distinction of who we are and who we belong to. I know that it's not an overnight process. However, the more we grow in Christ the more we look like Him and less like the world. We should be actively changing, growing into the women God called us to be and not content in how we were in the world.

 I want to make this very clear that just because a woman is a Minister, Pastor's daughter, Pastor's wife, serve in church, apart of a Christian organization, is moral, or posts about God doesn't make us a woman of God! There are many women in the church with the title as a 'Godly woman', but look no different from women in the world besides church attendance and morality. A true woman of God has been born again and seeks to please God in everything, repentant, and lives on the narrow path!

Spiritual life

A woman in the world can be a faithful church goer, serve in church, moral, apart of a Christian organization, sweet and talk about God but she is not deeply rooted in Christ and has no passion for God or lost souls. She may be celibate, serve in church, or quote scriptures but there is no true love for God or His word.  She may pray to God when she needs something or out of obligation but she doesn't have a deep prayer life. You will see many worldly women talking about God one minute, then turning up, having sex and cursing the next. She is very double-minded. She gets bored talking about God and the gospel, she rather talk about other things. She is not broken over her sin, as long as she looks moral before others she is okay. She seeks to please herself and look good before others above everything else. In church and on social media she may be one way, but when you get her alone she's a completely different person. She may compromise on anything if she likes you enough and if you tell her what she wants to hear.

Christ is a Godly's woman life. Everything that she does stems from her relationship with Christ. She isn't overly-religious or churchy, her love for God is natural flowing and not forced. God's word is the standard by which she seeks to live her life. The Godly woman communes with God and has an intimate relationship with the Lord. She depends on Him and feasts upon His word. She not only reads the word, she seeks to keep it.  She is  passionate about Christ and her heart's desire is to share the gospel and make disciples. She is conscious and sensitive of all of all the areas in her life that are unlike God and prays and depend on God to help her in the areas that she falls short in. She seeks to please God above everything else. She is deeply rooted in the word of God (if she's a new believer she's growing to know who God is). She seeks to be the same in church, on social media, in public and in private.

Values

Worldly women often times pride themselves off their looks and achievements. They boast about their accolades, followers, title, career, and how much money they make. It's all about them. She will put her career and pleasures before her husband and family. She only cares about her kid's dressing nice, their extra-curricular activities and their education.. she isn't concerned with their spiritual well-being. She looks up to and idolize celebrities who are "successful" in the world. She strives to be the next house wife,  Beyonce, Oprah,  and tries to "keep up with the Kardashians" because she is so mesmerized with their glamorous & lavish life, expensive bags, and money.

A Godly woman may have alot to boast in but she boasts in Christ alone. She knows that apart from Him she's nothing. She know that her achievements, degrees, career, minus Christ is vain and holds no eternal value. A godly woman doesn't strive to be "successful" by the world's standards, she strives to be successful according to God's standards which is by obedience and conformity to His will. God and her family comes before anything. She's not trying to "keep up with the Jones" she does what is best for her household because her main goal is to raise her kids in the fear and ammunition of the Lord. She cares about her children's education but more than anything she cares about them living for God and doing what God called them to do. She strives to be like older Christian women and be a Proverbs 31 woman. She is not trying to be like celebrities because she knows the things that they stand for, the way that they live, and what they promote contradicts God's word.

Attraction

Worldly women are more than likely attracted to carnal aspects of a man. How they look, dress, how much money they make, their degrees, accolades, social status, will they make cute kids, how fly his car is, how good he is in bed, how he makes her feel and temporal things that have no eternal value.

I won't say that a Godly woman won't be attracted to the exterior. Before we know anything about a man, we only see how they look. Saved or not, we all want to be attracted to our husband! A Godly woman will check out how he looks but more than anything she will be attracted to who he is spiritually. She is concerned about his prayer life, can he lead her, protect her, does he have a vision, hear clearly from the Lord,  can he teach her the word, be a good example for her (future) children, and how he interacts with other women? She is attracted to his leadership, self control, his submission to Christ no matter what the cost, his devotion to fervent prayer, and his heart to reach people with the gospel of Christ.

Dating

A worldly woman will give out her number, flirt, or date any guy who she finds attractive, has something to offer her, or just to have a good ol' time. She has no problem with having sex before marriage, spending the night with you, taking vacations with you, or moving in with you before you're her husband. She does whatever makes her happy and  what's right in her eyes. There are some worldly women who do see a problem with having sex before marriage, but it's not because they truly fear God and want to please Him. It centers around them and their selfish desires.

A woman of God knows that her time is precious. Although she may struggle with contentment in singleness and desire attention from the opposite sex, she depends on God to fill her void. She knows that her time is precious and she  Her standards are based on God's word, not based upon what she think is right.  Although though she may be vulnerable, tempted, and weak at times, she will seek to honor God with her body because she desires to please Him. I won't say that a Godly woman can't fall into sexual sin and make mistakes in their area (I know some who have but they repented and are walking in purity again)  but she will be convicted unto repentance, uncomfortable and grieved about sinning against God. She will not use scriptures to justify why she can sleep with her boyfriend.

Marriage

Worldly women screech at the word submission. Many have the mindset that,"I'm independent. I got my own, I'm not submitting to no man this ain't the 1950's!"  She doesn't practice prudence or discretion, she pops off at the mouth.(Proverbs 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion). She is very quarrelsome and when she's having problems with her husband, she will nag him to death, complain, and run and tell all of her friends what's going in. (Proverbs 25:24) She doesn't have a relationship with Christ, so she expects her husband to fulfill her every need and desire. She puts unrealistic expectations on him that only Christ can fill. She has this view of marriage to fill her void and make her happy.

Godly women whether single or married knows and embraces her God given role. She embraces her role of being a help meet and submitting to her husband. (Colossians 3:18) She knows God's design and portrait of a Godly marriage. She understands that her husband can't fulfill her every need, want, and desire only Christ can. When things are going wrong, although she is agitated she is careful with her words and speaks with wisdom. (Proverbs 31:26) She is very discreet, when they're having problems and she doesn't nag him or run to her friends, she goes to the Lord and pray because she know prayer changes things!  She knows that marriage is the picture between Christ and his church, she doesn't go to marriage looking to fill a void she knows that it will make her holy.

Characteristics

You will see the acts of the flesh in a worldly's woman life. (Galatians 5:19-21 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;  idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.) A worldly woman's  love is conditional, based on how others treat her. She doesn't forgive easily, she constantly bring up everything and remind you of what you've done in the past. She harbors hurt,anger, and bitterness. She's passionate about worldly success, the temporal things of the world. She can be controlling, unsubmissive to God, leadership, and authority.

You will see the fruits of the spirit manifested a woman of God's life.(Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.) Her love for others is unconditional, no matter how they treat her because she knows the author of love, God. She builds up people and tears down the lies of the enemy. She is devoted to purity and chastity, able to forgive and freely extend mercy and grace, passionate about Christ, her words are sincere, she's selfless, sensitivity to God’s Word and to His Spirit, sensitive to the sin in her life, able to speak the truth in love, submissive  to Christ, leadership, and authority.

Friendships

You want to know who a woman is?? Look at her friends, they are a reflection of her!( Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they agree) A worldly woman may have friends who they've been down for years. They may be loyal to each other and have a great friendship but they are not pushing each other closer to God. I personally called alot of my friendships in the world "sinships" we had nothing in common but sin. We never talked about anything deep, never went through anything..we just partied, gossiped, and sinned together!

A godly woman may not have a lot of friends, but the friends that she do have will be believers who keep her accountable and push her closer to Christ. They have a deep intimate bond that is founded upon Christ and His word. They will laugh, cry, pray, sharpen one another(Proverbs 27:17) and confess their sins to one another (James 5:16.) They are committed to growing together and serving the Lord.

I pray after reading this, that many of us men and women have a new perspective of what a woman of God is. I want to state again, that it's ONLY because of the Holy spirit convicting us, working in us, changing us, and teaching us that equips us to be women of God. This blog challenged me also, because I am striving to be the woman that God created me to. After reading this blog and you may realize..

• You thought you were this Godly woman the whole time but you realize that you may be worldly: Please email me so that I can share with you God's plan of salvation (highheelsstandards@gmail.com)
• You are saved but you still have a lot of worldliness in you: Ask God to change YOU to become a godly woman who can deeply and richly bless a godly man one day.  Let go of worldly friends, practices, shows or whatever else is taking your heart away from God.
• You are a Godly man and realize that you've been going for worldly woman even though they're in church. It's easy to get caught up in the exterior, because she's pretty, sweet, and kind. Truly seek the Lord , fast, and pray and don't compromise!
• If you are a Godly woman and seek to be the woman God designed you to be! Continue digging deep in the word, prayer,and staying sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Allow His spirit to sanctify you and change you from the inside out!

For questions, speaking engagements or to connect with me on social media.

                   Instagram: Highheels_highstandards Twitter: Brittjay 

            Email:Highheelsstandards@gmail.com

Why I'm not Raising My kids to Be Church Kids!

       Why I'm not Raising My kids to Be Church Kids!

          This is a guest blog from my big sister Nikki! She is not only my blood sister but my role model and sister in Christ. I have watched her over the years living for Christ. A topic that's not discussed much in the Christian community  is raising Godly children. I see firsthand how my sister and brother raises my nephew in the ways of God,  so I asked her to write this blog. I hope that this blesses you all! 


    Several years ago when my son Lil Rob was five years old he told me about a dream he had concerning a magic wand. He had been watching an episode of "Dora the Explorer" about casting a spell with a magic wand. I had already began explaining to him in simplicity what the bible says about witchcraft and spells. He later had a dream and told me "I was playing with a magic wand. Jesus told me he didn't like me playing with the magic wand and took it from me." A few days after his dream he was playing and his dad saw him pretending to have a magic wand. His dad asked him "Lil Rob, What did Jesus tell you in your dream about the magic wand?" Lil Rob responded "Jesus told me he didn't want me to play with it." It gave me great peace as a mom that God used a dream to teach my son. "All your children shall be taught by the Lord, And great shall be the peace of your children."-Isaiah 54:13 

          

    

  If I were to take a poll right now and ask "How many of you grew up in church?" Many would raise their hands. If I then asked "How many of you who grew up in church have been truly born again, regenerated, and living for Christ now?" Only a few hands would go up. I would like to make it clear this isn't a church bashing blog. It's important if possible to be apart of a biblical church where you can learn, connect with people, and grow spiritually. Being connected with other Christians and apart of a local church will be a normal part of my children lives. "Not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near."-Hebrews 10:25 

  We live in a time where many people in our nation attend church weekly and claim to be Christians. Our nation is moving further away from God and is in rebellion to biblical principles. In the universities professors are indoctrinating students with humanistic teachings and openly mock Christ. Many Christians have voted for a president who supports abortions and homosexual marriages. We have musicians like Katy Perry who performed a witchcraft ritual during her performance at the Grammys. Hollywood has desensitize us and they are boldly pushing their Anti Christianity agenda. Mega Churches are popping up all over the place and many churches are growing in numbers. Why is our nation in the state that it is in? Many of our children and teens who attend church regularly seem no different than their worldly peers. Where have we went wrong? Many churches are preaching a watered down Gospel. Many parents stress the importance of worldly success and sports to their children. They rarely discuss spiritual things with their children. Then they drag their children to church for two hours a week expecting the Youth Pastor and Children's Pastor to turn their rebellious children into "Obedient Christians." Going to church doesn't make you a Born Again Christian just like being parked in a garage doesn't make you a car. 


     People assume that I'm serious about Christ because I grew up in church.I grew up in church but my heart was far from God. I didn't pretend to be serious about God. I simply lived as I please. Some church kids grow up in church, they know how to look the part, they are active in their church, they perform to receive the praises of men, they boast in their worldly success,they sometimes live double lives, and their heart usually isn't after God. Some of them act like little Pharisees. Godly Kids desires to please God. They have had an encounter with Jesus and have been changed on the inside."But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children."-Matthew 19:14 They go to church because they are hungry for God's word, they desire to be around other Christians, and are passionate about the lost.They make mistakes but get convicted of their sin. They don't live double lives. My husband and I have two sons and our oldest is almost nine. We made up our mind years ago that we were not raising "Church Kids." Our desire was to raise "Godly Kids." Godly Kids have had an supernatural encounter with Christ. They have been changed on the inside and are sensitive to the Holy Spirit leading their lives. Their walk with Christ affects their home life and every area of their life. "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions."-Joel 2:28

        Are you raising your children to be "church kids" or "godly kids?" As parents we can't expect to raise Godly Kids if we haven't been born again and regenerated ourselves. You can't give something you don't have. "Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.  Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit."-John 3:5 When you are truly born again it will be evident in your life and the Holy Spirit will teach you how to parent and pray for your children."But you have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don't need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true--it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ."-1John 2:27 There isn't a magic formula to use for raising children. They still have to make their own decisions to serve God. But if you would get in your word and seek the Lord in prayer he will give you the guidance you need. He can move upon your children hearts, open their spiritual eyes, and give you wisdom with raising them.The bible has plenty to say concerning child raising.I'm not against taking your children to church. Going to church is a good thing. We can't expect for the church to raise our children and not do our part at home. Our kids are looking at our lives and actions. If you act differently at church than when you are at home your kids won't take you seriously. Are you spending time at home teaching them the word? Do you teach them how to make practical decisions with what they are learning from the bible? "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."-Deuteronomy 11:18 

  There is no such thing as a little holy spirit and big holy spirit. God used people in the bible during their youth. In many churches we think children are to young to understand spiritual things. We use entertainment and cute bible stories to fill in the time. Meanwhile the enemy is busy using all kinds of music, shows, and ungodly people to influence them. God desires to have a relationship with our kids and teach them his ways when they are young. Lil Rob is now almost nine years old and I have had many deep conversations with him concerning the bible.Last week we were watching a movie called "The Apostle Peter" on Netflix. In the movie Peter is an old man and was in prison for his faith. In one part he is sharing his hope in Christ and quoted the scripture about Jesus never leaving nor forsaking us. My son paused the movie and says "Mom isn't that powerful, Jesus will never leave us or forsake us." Lil Rob also told me he was amazed that Peter was happy to suffer for Christ in prison. We end up having a little discussion which we both enjoyed. My child isn't more special or have a higher calling than any other child. We have made it a point since he was small to teach him about God in simplicity, pray for the salvation of his soul, pray for God to reveal himself, and we live this life before him daily so it's normal to him. He sees his parents reaching out to all kinds of people, praying for them, showing the love of God, and giving to those in need. I also sometimes share with him areas where I have made mistakes and had to change. Lil Rob makes mistakes and gets in trouble like any other child. But since he has the Holy Spirit inside of him he feels conviction when he sins. He has a solid foundation and good understanding of the bible. He has a heart for the lost and the poor. He stands up for those who are being bullied. We encourage him to make time for God a few minutes a day by reading his word, praying, singing songs, or thinking about him. We teach him that doing well in school is important. But the most important thing in life is serving God because he is our Lord and Master. We regularly spend time together as a family praying and discussing the bible. There have been times he shared things with me that I know had to be the Holy Spirit because an eight year old wouldn't make that up. God gives him dreams and visions.I'm not saying any of this to brag on my child. This should be the norm for those of us who are raising Godly Kids.

        I am encouraging all of the parents and future parents we have to take raising our children God's way seriously. It isn't good enough just to take them to church. We have to live an authentic set-apart Christian life before them. God didn't give us cute kids so that we can show them off on social networks and brag about them. His desire is for us to raise our children to follow his word and to live for him. "Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth."-Malachi 2:15 It's time for us to take serious the offspring that God has given us. One day these children will become adults and making their own decisions for their life. It's imperative that we equipped them with the right tools spiritually and that we do everything within our power to point them Christ. There are parents with experience, sermons, books, the bible, and prayer that can help you on your journey of raising godly offspring. My desire isn't to raise "Church Kids. My desire is to raise "Godly Children" who will burn with passion for Christ day and night!

I also did a blog on why our youth leave the church. Check it out here! http://brittmjay.blogspot.com/2013/10/why-do-our-youth-leave-church-and-never.html http://brittmjay.blogspot.com/2013/10/why-do-our-youth-leave-church-and-never.html

To contact Curtisha(Nikki):

Email: Jazzi01@yahoo.com

Twitter:Jazzionfire

The Gospel of Relationships

  "The Gospel Of Relationships"

Our social media timeline is filled with videos and posts on how to find a spouse. Couples go viral for being relationship goals. Everyone wants to start a YouTube couples channel to share their love story. This trend has crept into the Christian arena where many ministries talk about relationships and how to find a spouse but don't emphasize the gospel, repentance, being born again, and preparing for the return of Christ. These ministries and organizations capitalize and appeal to single women. What single woman doesn't want to hear about how she can get her knight and shining armor, with a Christian spin to it?  Many single women are consumed with marriage, but not as concerned about serving Christ, knowing His word and making disciples.

What is the relationship gospel?  

The "relationship gospel" promises single women that if they stop having sex, stop dating around, and start having quiet time and serving in the church, then God will send their spouse. When we minimize our sinfulness, don't talk about repentance, holiness, what it means to be truly born again and only focus on relationships we deceive people into thinking that marriage is the ultimate goal of the Christian life and not Christ. The gospel isn't 5 steps to get a Godly marriage. The gospel isn't about us being a power couple and someone's relationship goal. The gospel isn't about us having the perfect love story. The gospel is about Jesus dying to reconcile guilty sinners back to Himself and to be in fellowship with us. Wholeness doesn't come from marriage, it comes from being in Christ!



              False Conversions

Coming to Christ can give us a Godly marriage, but that's not the reason why we come to Christ. We come to Christ because we're sinners in need a Savior. If we "come" to Christ on the basis of what He can give us and not for who He is, we didn't truly "come!" The relationship gospel  focuses on trying to get women to change their externals, so that they can find a spouse. This is the opposite of the true gospel. The true gospel changes us on the inside and those changes manifest on the outside. Throughout the years, I've encountered so many single women who are hyped to follow these single movements. They read the love stories, go to all the conferences, and do all the things thinking it will result in getting this "perfect love story." Normally, I see the hype last a short time and they go back to the world after it doesn't turn out how they expected. Or they actually get married and completely stop talking about Christ. They were never truly converted. There motives were never for Christ. There heart was never to serve the Lord for who He was. It was all about what Christ can do for them and give them.

Talking about courtship and marriage is definitely healthy for believers in it's proper context. The Titus 2 woman teaches the young women about loving her husband and raising Godly kids.(Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.) However, she is teaching a young woman who are already saved. This was not her method for spreading the gospel to an unbeliever. We cannot teach Godly principles to people who haven't been born again. I definitely think it's important to talk about Godly courtship and marriage because many new believers don't know.  However, this isn't the only topic that we should put more emphasis on. I know that most people don't want to hear the gospel, it is controversial, convicting and you will get backlash. I know that  relationships is the "new thing" and this is what everyone wants to hear about. I know this is what gets the likes and followers but we have to check our heart motives.  Do we care more about them following us or following Christ?


The dangers of preaching relationships is not only the false conversions but giving women false hopes. God never promised that just because we abstain from sex and start going to church that He'll send us a mate. What about the women who are walking in celibacy, not dating around, and living for God but years and years pass by and they're still not married? What if it's not 15 years from now? What if it's not in God's will? God never promised us a spouse, He promised us eternal life. It is dangerous to tell women to follow a check list to get a man and it never comes to past. All of our stories will be different. We cannot assume that what we did will work for everyone else! What about the women who actually do get married but never get converted? Marriage is temporal, eternity is forever. Their soul is more important than their marital status.We should be spreading the gospel and telling women no matter what happens, even if they never get married they can still be effective for the Kingdom and help win souls.


       The true gospel of Jesus Christ

The gospel of Jesus Christ is the good news that God saves sinners. Man is by nature sinful and separated from God with no hope of remedying the situation. But God, by His grace and power provided the means of man's redemption in the death, burial and Resurrection of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Did Jesus die so we can get a man? No! Did he die so you can life your best life now? No! He died to free us of sin and reconcile us to the Father. The whole entire bible from Genesis to Revelation is about Jesus Christ. The old testaments prophecies and points to Jesus and the new testaments talks about His ministry and second coming. Jesus first message was "Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand" (Matthew 4:17)  and the last thing He said was "Go into the world and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19) So how come our message is centered around marriage? Are we making disciples or a bunch of goats who want marriage and not God? God is more concerned with your relationship with Him than your relationship with a man. He is more concerned about our eternity than the temporal. There won't even be marriage in heaven(Matthew 22:30) So what good does it do to get married but you've never been born again and you perish? The basics of biblical womanhood, courtship, and marriage is the gospel of Jesus Christ. Have you been born again? We cannot have a Godly courtship and marriage if we don't know God! The central message and focus of all of our messages should be the gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything should ALWAYS point back to Him!


1 Corinthians 9:16 For when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!

Godly vs Worldly men

If you are a woman who loves the Lord and desire to glorify Him in marriage, it's important that you know what to look for in a godly man. We must be reminded that just because someone is a Pastor, Minister, or faithful church goer doesn't make them a man of God. Being in the church doesn't save, being in Christ saves. Only when we have experienced the radical new birth are we able to by the power of the Holy Spirit live a godly life. The only difference between a godly man and worldly man is Christ. These are some traits to prayerfully look for as you look for a godly man. Most of all, we must look to God's word and get wise counsel. This blog isn't to say that all worldly men are this way, and all godly men are this way. This is just a blog written from my perspective!


His approach

A worldly guy's intentions are oftentimes very unclear. He may say all of the right things  but his actions differ. Depending on their age, many worldly men aren't interested in pursuing a monogamous relationship that leads to marriage. From the first few conversations you should be able to tell what they're about. If the ask you to come over and chill or bring up sex then this is a clear indicator of where he is. There may be men who are in the church but his conversations won't reflect that. 



A man of God who is seriously looking for a wife should be very intentional, selective and prayerful in his pursuit. Godly men tend to watch how a woman serves, interacts with others, and how she deals with situations before approaching her.  They may even watch your social media.  A man of God knows that it takes more than good looks to make a good wife. He is looking for a help meet to fulfill God's purpose with. When he does approach a woman, he is very respectable and intentional in his pursuit. A godly man has no time to play games, he is on a mission and makes his intentions known upfront.

Courting and Dating

A worldly guy would have no problem trying to sleep with you before marriage. He wants little if any accountability. Forget about him agreeing to meet your Pastor or even your parents before he takes you out. He is afraid of commitment and meeting those people will scare him off. He doesn't want everyone's opinion and wants everyone in his "business." Marriage is not the goal, he just wants to date with the selfish goals of having fun and enjoying romantic attachments.
  
During courtship, the man after God's heart works at keeping you both pure because he honors you and God. He will be invested in getting you to grow in the Lord and will initiate prayer and lead bible study. He seeks the accountability and wisdom of their parents, other mentors, and Christians. He wants to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view. His goal is to seek to determine if it is God’s will for him to marry you.

Marriage

Many worldly men want to avoid marriage as long as possible. Oftentimes, they only get married after being pressured to after shacking up after being with their girlfriend for many years. Most worldly men are in no rush to marry because they can have casual sex without marriage. By living with a girlfriend, they can enjoy all the benefits of a wife without having to say, "I do." This is a no-risk way to "test drive" marriage. They want to enjoy the single life as long as possible, especially as they become accustomed to having their own space and routines and not being responsible to anyone else. Their greatest fear is that marriage will require too many changes, compromises and responsibilities.


Godly men know that he who finds a wife, finds a good thing.(Proverbs 18:22) Godly men know the purpose of marriage. They are not afraid of commitment because they are committed to God. They are faithful to God, so they can be faithful to their wife.  If a man can honor the Lord with his body and practice self-control in singleness, you can trust him to honor his covenant and have self-control in marriage.


Qualities

Worldly men are most times cocky and arrogant. They boast about their cars, money, accolades and temporal things that have no eternal value. Worldly men have no fear of God, if it's convenient he has no problem cheating. They can cheat on you and do whatever because it's all about them and their happiness. If someone better comes along, they would have no problem dropping you. Even though they may know a few scriptures they do not obey God's word, they do what is right in their own eyes. They are led by their flesh and temporal pleasures.Their love is shallow because how can they truly love you if they don't know the author of love, God. That's why you hear many of them say "they fell out of love" when the attraction and feelings wear off. He will tell you what you want to hear and lead you on to get what he wants. Most worldly men will not wait for sex until marriage because "he's a man he has needs!" Many worldly men may be very active in church but they have no passion for Christ, no depth in Christ, and his conversations are very shallow. A worldly guy has no depth in the word and he gets bored when you talk about the Lord. He will use excuses to justify his mistakes and he is stubborn in his ways and un-correctable. He will cause you relationship with Christ to dwindle.


Godly men are confident not cocky. They know who they are in Christ. They are not moved by what other men are doing. A man after God's heart fears the Lord and he's committed to you no matter what. He knows that God called him to love you as Christ loved His church and he will one day have to stand before Him and give an account. A man of God also has conviction from the Holy Spirit.  If he does step out of line (which Godly men do they aren't perfect) God will discipline Him and bring him unto repentance. Godly men will not tell you what you want to hear. They will try their best to protect your heart and not mislead you. Godly men are led by God and obey what the word of God says. He will not use excuses to justify his sinful ways, He will look to God for guidance. A man after God's heart is humble,teachable,passionate about God and actively studies the word. Or should be actively growing in these areas!


Attraction

 Worldly men are attracted to carnal things. They are attracted to your physical appearance, body, your lack of morals(so you can have sex with him), personality, education, and your body.Worldly men wants a woman who is in church like he is(that doesn't mean she's saved) but they can care less about how you are spiritually because he's not spiritual himself. Eternity is nowhere on his mind, only the temporal.Yeah your looks may be fascinating for the first few weeks, maybe even months but after that it gets really old. The attraction is all vain and based on carnal, superficial aspects.

  Now I'm not going to say that Godly men don't care about looks and body because they do. Men are very visual, but he cares more about your spiritual then physical. A Godly man knows that Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30) Godly men are attracted to a woman's love for Christ, biblical way of dealing with development and growth, chastity and purity, your humble and submission, your devotion to the lord, your modesty, meekness, biblical womanhood and femininity, and self control. Her spirituality is preeminent because He knows that you won't look the same way in 30 years. He also knows that this will be the mother of his kids, and it's important that she has certain attributes to raise Godly kids.


The difference between a worldly man and a Godly man is that the worldly man desires to please himself more than anyone else. The Godly man desires to please God more than anyone else. The Godly man has given up his own desires and submitted himself to the will of God. He is more concerned with bringing glory to God through your relationship. It's not about perfection, it's about direction. Godly men are not perfect, but their heart is set on pleasing God.They are all a work in progress and have to grow & mature as we all do. We have to stop acting as if there is no difference between Godly men vs worldly men because there is. I love all the Godly men, I thank you all for showing me that all men are not the same. I thank you all for leading your families and loving your wives. Please feel  to write comments and let me know what you all think. Read Part 2 of Godly vs Worldly women http://brittmjay.blogspot.com/2015/01/worldly-women-vs-godly-women.html

For questions, speaking engagements or to connect with me on social media.

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Why are millennials leaving the church?

Statistics show that 70% of youth stop attending church when they graduate from high school, and only half of those come back. The older generation wants to know why the youth go off the college and most never come back? Why the 20's age group is dead? Why the kids who grew up in church live just like those who didn't grow up in church? Well I have think I have some answers!!!

1. The main reason why many millennials never come back is because they grew up in the church but they didn't grow up in Christ. Just because someone grew up in church doesn't mean that they have been born again! Church attendance doesn't mean that we're saved! Many youth go to church because their parents make them or just to socialize with their friends but they never knew Christ for themselves. Many youth have never been converted and are self deceived due to a false proclamation of faith that they made when they were younger. Their youth Pastor and parents have also convinced them that they are saved because of some act they performed. They don't understand the true gospel because they've never been taught it. They may have got baptized, raised their hand and repeated a prayer but there was never any work of regeneration, true repentance and faith. Also, we think that the youth in church are saved because their parents are saved, but God has no grandchildren! Our faith cannot save anyone else, each person must live for Christ and carry their own cross.

2. The gospel isn't being preached to the youth. Many youth pastors seem to think that since they are young, they have to entertain the youth to keep their attention. WRONG! If the church plans to get the youth, it can't be with entertainment. The world is WAY more entertaining than the church, they need the gospel! Many are hearing an unbalanced message of love,grace,and mercy but no talk of wrath,judgement,holiness,or hell. We don't need any sugarcoating or watering down, but the pure unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ. Many youth were at the club, or engaging in sinful activities Saturday night  but come to church the next morning feeling good. They are coming to church week after week not hearing the gospel, so they're not being convicted and see no need to change and draw unto repentance. Many youth in church have no biblical foundation or knowledge, they just know a few scriptures and the main bible stories. 

3. Many youth who grew up in church have seen hypocrites around them all of their life, and they don't want no part in it. Our generation is REAL, we're either in or out and we don't have time to play church. Many youth see their parents or people in church acting one way in church but acting totally different outside of church. Many have been turned off from church and Christianity because of the false misrepresentation and hypocrisy that they have seen round them.

4. We don't talk about REAL stuff in most churches. We act as if sex, porn, masturbation, abortion,homosexuality,and drugs is taboo when most of the youth are engaging in these activities. If they haven't been tempted with it yet, they will soon be tempted as the enter college. We tell them that these things are wrong but we don't tell them why. As the church we are not called to be POLITICALLY correct but BIBLICALLY correct. We no longer promote purity before marriage in most churches either, and we aren't transparent with our lives before Christ. Satan is bold and going HARD pushing his agenda on our youth when the church is being SILENT on these issues. As long as we continue to sweep these issues under the rug and don't address them, satan will continue to take our youth out.

@thatdarndave

5.  Many in our youth are living double lives, and they just get tired of pretending. In their life at church, they know the right behaviors and speak "Christianese" to pass as good kids. In their other life they follow worldly pursuits and live a life of sin in secret, away from parents and church leaders. Many pretend to be "good" on Facebook because they know that most adults from church are friends with them on there, but on their other social networks accounts they are freely able to be themselves. But, they come to a certain point where they get tired of pretending!  

6. The world is more enticing. Many of our youth have not been equipped for the real world. We send them off to college unarmed, and they are not prepared for what's to come. In college temptation and sin is rampant and they fall in love with the things of the world. They are no longer under their parent's supervision and they are able to do the sinful things that their heart desire without having to answer to anyone. 

7. Many churches in America are raising up successful, educated kids with no godliness. They esteem success in the world's eyes over Godly success.So the parents and people in church are satisfied as long as their kids are in college, making good grades, have a good career and visit church sporadically. Many of the youth who grew up in church are "successful" in the world's eyes but not in God's eyes. They have the degrees and career but they are still in the world and aren't living for God. Many are praised in the church for their accomplishments, so they think that they are in right standing. We have traded in teaching repentance, holiness, purity, and modesty for teaching success.Our job in the church isn't to preach success and be motivational speakers, we are to equip our youth to be men and women of God, to go in this world and preach the gospel ,bear fruit, and impact the Kingdom of God,

8.Parents in the church are not teaching their children at home about Christ. It's not a lifestyle, they don't see mommy and daddy living the Christian life apart from Sundays. Church is only one day out of the week, we should be teaching our kids about Christ daily. Sadly, many parents are more concerned with worldly pursuits and their children extra curricular activities than they are about them learning about the things of God. They're not  learning to be someone's future husband/wife, how to pray, the fruits of the spirit.etc If parents have raised their children to be great doctors, businessman,athletes, and musicians but haven't trained them to honor and obey God, they have failed. 

The reason why I wrote this blog because this was me! I grew up in church, repeated the prayer, but my heart was far from God and I went off to college and did what my sinful heart craved. I never knew Christ for myself, I was a false convert who grew up in church! This is so many youth that I've seen and grew up in church with. We can't think that they will be okay and come back in their 30's. Many will never come back, and the ones who do will come back to church but they may never truly come to Christ. By the grace of God, He saved me!( Read my testimony https://brittmjay.blogspot.com/2012/11/redeemed.html) Carnal means, worldly antics, and entertainment will never save the youth. If we want to get this generation we are going to have to preach the full blast of the gospel to penetrate the hardness of their heart. We have to get back to the basics of biblical Christianity. There is still hope. We have to stop trying to raise "good successful kids" and raise Godly Kids.We need to stop being pleased with attendance at youth group and fun retreats.We can't be satisfied that they're just coming to church when they're not burning for God and living double lives.  We need to start getting on our knees and praying that the Holy Spirit will do miraculous saving work in the hearts of our young adults as the Word of God speaks to them. In short, we need to get back to a focus on TRUE conversion, of what it means to be TRULY regenerated. We need to preach, teach, and talk—all the while praying fervently for the miraculous work of regeneration to occur in the hearts and souls of our students by the power of the Holy Spirit! 

        For questions, speaking engagements or to connect with me on social media.

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Redeemed

My Testimony of how Christ saved me!  

Published on November 28, 2012 (6 months after conversion)

1 Timothy 1:15-16 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all long suffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.

I was raised in the church and vividly remember talking about Jesus as a young girl. I repeated the "sinner's prayer" when I was 7 years old and was baptized. I made a profession of faith but nothing about me changed. I was sincere and repeated the prayer because I wanted to go to Heaven but I had no desire to know, honor, or obey God.  I was simply a false convert. Throughout my youth I continued to go to church and read my bible at times, but my heart was far from God. My future plans were to "live for Jesus" when I got much older but my current plans were to go off to college and get a taste of the world and all it had to offer!

                College Years (2007-2011)

I went off to college and did all the things my sinful heart desired. I attended Albany State University, a HBCU that was known for partying. I partied hard the first few years of my life and indulged in drunkenness, sexual sin  to fill my void with partying, drunkenness, and guys. I didn't know my worth  and allowed anything from guys. As a freshman, God was drawing me but I ignored Him. I went to bible study on campus but I lived like God didn't exist. I still thought I was a Christian because I repeated the "sinner's prayer" when I was younger, but my whole life contradicted what God's word said a true Christian was. I went to church when I was home, but my heart was so hardened I wasn't moved or phased by anything that was going on in church. I was living my own little double life. Pretending to be "mommy and daddy sweet angel" but behind their back doing the very things that I know they wouldn't condone. Now when you compared me to most girls my age, I was considered a "good girl" but compared to the word of God I was filthy and the little girl who grew up in church was on the way to hell! Sometimes we are so quick to compare ourselves to our friends and other people who call themselves "Christians" and think we are okay because they are doing the same things we are doing. But when we compare ourselves to the word of God we really see where we line up at! Our "little" sins is a BIG deal to God!

            

              The Awakening (2011-2012)

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. (John 6:44)

I decided to move back home and take classes online until I graduated, and that was the best decision I made that year. I had to get away from that college lifestyle people were living. It's like once you get around a lot of sin you get desensitized to it, and the things you thought were abnormal have now become normal. God started drawing me like crazy and stripping things away from me. I was so broken, depressed, and empty. I ended the "situationship" that I was in and  made the vow in December 2011 that I would not have sex again until I was married.  I was tired of being hurt and misused by guys who didn't value me. I always knew that sex outside of marriage was a sin against God, but I ignored what God said because I loved my sin and pleasure more than I loved Him. The last time I went to the club I was actually sober (for the first time EVER lol). When you're intoxicated everything is exciting and fun, when you're sober you see everything clearly for what it was. On this day I saw clubbing exactly for what is was. I looked around with disgust realizing I didn't want to live my life like this is. I made up my mind in in April 2012 that I was done with clubbing and drinking.

                   Born Again (2012)

Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)

On May 27, 2012, the Lord graciously saved me.  For the first time in my life I met God's conviction for my sin..yet His love, grace, and mercy. I realized that I was a filthy sinner deserving of hell, and how undeserving I was of God's love and grace. Romans 5:8 came alive to me, "God demonstrates His love in this.  While I was yet a sinner Christ died for me!" On this day, I repented and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ. The weight of sin was lifted off of me and I saw the beauty in what Christ did on the cross for me. I weeped with joy! I was so self-deceived in the past, thinking I was saved because I was raised in the church, baptized and said the "sinner's prayer." In actuality, I had only recited a prayer and had gotten wet. There had been no conviction of sin, no repentance, no saving faith, and no regeneration. I was a FALSE CONVERT and my life proved it. I was not stun' God, I didn't care what His word said about how I lived, I didn't fear Him, honor Him and I didn't live according to His standards. I realized it wasn't enough to go to church, go through the motions, and profess Christ with my mouth while I denied Him with my life.

New life in Christ

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

After Christ saved me, I had such a desperation and hunger to read His word and know Him. It's like the scales fell from my eyes and I begin to see clearly. I saw the state that the world is in, and how most people are lost and on the way to hell and don't even know it. I saw how deceitful sin was. I begun to hate the things of this world and love God and the things of God. I realized how vain the partying, drinking, pre-marital sex, and the overall pursuit of a life without God was. I wanted to please God with everything and I was willing to cut off anything and anyone to grow closer to Him. I didn't have any saved friends at the time, it was just me and God. The Lord begun to convict me about the godless music that I listened to and the shows I watched.  I begun to only feed my spirit with sermons, blogs, and Christian music. I also started listening to preachers like David Wilkerson and Paul washer who preaches the true unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ. They really helped me to grow and understand so much about the gospel!

 1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

                        

             I am Brittany Jay and my testimony continues...
                            

                 

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